PICK UP LINES to use on GIRLS.
Look at all those curves, and me with no brakes!!!
My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!
Hey , I'm the cable guy, my only policy is that if I hook your cable up, you have to hook mine up!
I think you've got something in your eye. Oh nevermind, it's just a sparkle.
Baby... wanna come for a ride?
The only thing I want between our relationship is latex.
Save water, shower with a friend!
You must be Jamaican, Cause you Jamaican me crazy.
I think I'm in heaven because you look like an angel. Can you take off your shirt so that I can check for wings?
Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!
Excuse me M'am, you dropped a piece of ass, let me get that for you. (then grab her ass)
Your legs are like peanut butter, smooth, creamy, and easy to spread.
Is your father a farmer? Because you sure do have some nice melons.
Quick, somebody call the cops, you just stole my heart.
I love every bone in your body, especially mine!
PICK UP LINES to use on GUYS.
Hi. (trust us, it doesn't take much to pick up the average guy)
I'll give you a nickel if I can tickle your pickle...
Either my eyes need checking or you're the best looking guy I've seen all week.
Is your dad a peanut maker? 'Cause you've got nice nuts!
If you're naughty go to your room. If you wanna be naughty go to my room!
Let's play pool. We can use your stick and balls and my hole!
Did you just grab my ass? No? Well you can if you want too!
You're ugly but you intrigue me.
I may not be Wilma, but I can sure make your bedrock.
Do you have a Band-Aid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you
Can I have a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
Wanna play fireman? We can stop, drop and roll.
You've been a bad boy. Go to my room!
My hands are cold. Can I stick them down your pants to warm them?
I love baseball, so take me home baby!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, so let's go
screw!
Do these look real?
My bed is broken. Can I sleep in yours?
My name is . I'll be your play toy tonight!
Hi, I'm a taudry slut looking for a good time!
SUPER CHEESY LINES.
I'm a used car but you can still drive me!
Let's make out so I can see if you taste as good as you look!
You are the hottest thing since sunburn.
Do you know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie-pop? Wanna find out?
Man, you sure are bright girl! Were you raised by the stars?
Hi, I'm Batman. Wanna see my batmobile?
Hey baby, you are like a pot of gold... Hard to get and hard to hold.
Are those space jeans? Because your ass is outta this world.
It's not the size of the boat. It's the motion of the ocean.
Do you know what would look good on you? Me.
Is that a run in your stockings, or is it the stairway to heaven?
I can read palms. {write your # on their hand} OOh it says your gonna call me soon!
I was just checking your tag to see if you were made in heaven.
Excuse me, but does my tongue taste funny to you?
Hey babe, can I have your number? I think it'll look better in my pocket than in your head.
THE WORST ONES EVER!
I wish you were a bag of Skittles so I could taste your rainbow!
By the way the light is hitting your eyes, I can see myself in them, and damn, I look good!
Smile if you want me!
I'm the doctor of love baby and you're over due for your meat injection!
Hey baby, where you been all my life?
Hey babe! did you hear about the guy and the girl who talked together at the dance? Well...Let me read you the story tonight when I tuck us into bed!
You must be goin to hell cause it must be a sin to look that good.
Do you wanna come back to my house for sex and pizza? No? You don't like pizza?
I'd marry your cat to get in the family.
Are you a Pokemon?? Cuz i'd sure like to pikachu!!
Did you drop something? Cause you sure look like you are picking up!
Who's your daddy?
Hey baby, are you like Sprite because you make me want to obey my thirst.
My love for you is like the Energizer Bunny, it keeps going and going...
If you were a library book, I would check you out.
HOW TO REBUTT THE GUY OR GIRL.
He: Would you like to dance?
She: Not with you.
He: Oh, come on. Lower your standards a little, I just did.
Q: "May I have the directions to your heart?"
A: "Yes,you make a left at 'Hell No' Ave. and leep going straight 'til you get to 'F.U.' Blvd.
He: Your body is like a temple...
She: Sorry, there are no services today.
He: Can I put my beef in your taco?
She: No sorry...I'm a vegitarian.
He: Do you wanna dance?
She: Yeah but not with you!
He: You must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants!
He: I'd die happy if I saw you naked.
She: I'd die laughing if I saw you naked!
He: Hey baby, do you wanna go to my place and hang out (wink wink)
She: No, I'm going to my boyfriend's to hang out! (wink wink)
He: The name's Bond, James Bond.
She: The idea's lost, get lost!
Q: Does beauty run in your family?
A: It obviously doesn't in yours!
Q: What's your name sexy?
A: Taken!
Q: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?
A: Yeah, but this time don't stop!
He: Haven't we met before?
She: Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.
He: So wanna go back to my place?
She: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?
He: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
She: It's in the phone book.
He: But I don't know your name.
She: It's in the phone book too!
He: So what do you do for a living?
She: Female impersonator.
Q: What sign were you born under?
A: No Parking.
He: So how do you like your eggs in the morning?
She: Unfertilized!
Q: What are you looking at?
A: Oh. I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.
In reply to No, thank you: Don't thank me, thank God somebody asked you!
He: I'd really like to get into your pants.
She: No thanks. There's already one a-hole in there!
Q: I think you're the best looking girl in here.
A: Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!
He: So, baby, your place or mine?
She: Both. You'll go to your place and I'll go to mine!
He:Your legs go clear up to your ass.
She: Most peoples do!
Q: Can I buy you a drink?
A: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!
He: I know how to please a woman.
She: Then please leave me alone.
He:I want to give myself to you.
She: Sorry, I don`t accept cheap gifts.
"Haven`t I seen you some place before?"
Response: "Yeah, that`s why I don`t go there anymore."
"You look like a dream."
Response: "Go back to sleep."
"I can tell that you want me."
Response: "Yes, I want you to leave."
"Hey, baby, what`s your sign?"
Response: "Do not enter...or stop."
He: What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
She: What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?
Q: Is this seat empty?
A: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
"I can see forever in your eyes."
Response: "But all I can see is never in yours."
"Is it hot in here, or is it just you?"
Response: "No I think your excess weight is taking all the air!"
"If I could rewrite the alphabet,
I would put U and I together."
Response: "That is if you could, but unfortunately you can't!"
"I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included."
Response: "Thanks! Hey I saw your name next to filthy."
enjoy! (:
Look at all those curves, and me with no brakes!!!
My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!
Hey , I'm the cable guy, my only policy is that if I hook your cable up, you have to hook mine up!
I think you've got something in your eye. Oh nevermind, it's just a sparkle.
Baby... wanna come for a ride?
The only thing I want between our relationship is latex.
Save water, shower with a friend!
You must be Jamaican, Cause you Jamaican me crazy.
I think I'm in heaven because you look like an angel. Can you take off your shirt so that I can check for wings?
Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!
Excuse me M'am, you dropped a piece of ass, let me get that for you. (then grab her ass)
Your legs are like peanut butter, smooth, creamy, and easy to spread.
Is your father a farmer? Because you sure do have some nice melons.
Quick, somebody call the cops, you just stole my heart.
I love every bone in your body, especially mine!
PICK UP LINES to use on GUYS.
Hi. (trust us, it doesn't take much to pick up the average guy)
I'll give you a nickel if I can tickle your pickle...
Either my eyes need checking or you're the best looking guy I've seen all week.
Is your dad a peanut maker? 'Cause you've got nice nuts!
If you're naughty go to your room. If you wanna be naughty go to my room!
Let's play pool. We can use your stick and balls and my hole!
Did you just grab my ass? No? Well you can if you want too!
You're ugly but you intrigue me.
I may not be Wilma, but I can sure make your bedrock.
Do you have a Band-Aid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you
Can I have a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
Wanna play fireman? We can stop, drop and roll.
You've been a bad boy. Go to my room!
My hands are cold. Can I stick them down your pants to warm them?
I love baseball, so take me home baby!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, so let's go
screw!
Do these look real?
My bed is broken. Can I sleep in yours?
My name is . I'll be your play toy tonight!
Hi, I'm a taudry slut looking for a good time!
SUPER CHEESY LINES.
I'm a used car but you can still drive me!
Let's make out so I can see if you taste as good as you look!
You are the hottest thing since sunburn.
Do you know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie-pop? Wanna find out?
Man, you sure are bright girl! Were you raised by the stars?
Hi, I'm Batman. Wanna see my batmobile?
Hey baby, you are like a pot of gold... Hard to get and hard to hold.
Are those space jeans? Because your ass is outta this world.
It's not the size of the boat. It's the motion of the ocean.
Do you know what would look good on you? Me.
Is that a run in your stockings, or is it the stairway to heaven?
I can read palms. {write your # on their hand} OOh it says your gonna call me soon!
I was just checking your tag to see if you were made in heaven.
Excuse me, but does my tongue taste funny to you?
Hey babe, can I have your number? I think it'll look better in my pocket than in your head.
THE WORST ONES EVER!
I wish you were a bag of Skittles so I could taste your rainbow!
By the way the light is hitting your eyes, I can see myself in them, and damn, I look good!
Smile if you want me!
I'm the doctor of love baby and you're over due for your meat injection!
Hey baby, where you been all my life?
Hey babe! did you hear about the guy and the girl who talked together at the dance? Well...Let me read you the story tonight when I tuck us into bed!
You must be goin to hell cause it must be a sin to look that good.
Do you wanna come back to my house for sex and pizza? No? You don't like pizza?
I'd marry your cat to get in the family.
Are you a Pokemon?? Cuz i'd sure like to pikachu!!
Did you drop something? Cause you sure look like you are picking up!
Who's your daddy?
Hey baby, are you like Sprite because you make me want to obey my thirst.
My love for you is like the Energizer Bunny, it keeps going and going...
If you were a library book, I would check you out.
HOW TO REBUTT THE GUY OR GIRL.
He: Would you like to dance?
She: Not with you.
He: Oh, come on. Lower your standards a little, I just did.
Q: "May I have the directions to your heart?"
A: "Yes,you make a left at 'Hell No' Ave. and leep going straight 'til you get to 'F.U.' Blvd.
He: Your body is like a temple...
She: Sorry, there are no services today.
He: Can I put my beef in your taco?
She: No sorry...I'm a vegitarian.
He: Do you wanna dance?
She: Yeah but not with you!
He: You must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants!
He: I'd die happy if I saw you naked.
She: I'd die laughing if I saw you naked!
He: Hey baby, do you wanna go to my place and hang out (wink wink)
She: No, I'm going to my boyfriend's to hang out! (wink wink)
He: The name's Bond, James Bond.
She: The idea's lost, get lost!
Q: Does beauty run in your family?
A: It obviously doesn't in yours!
Q: What's your name sexy?
A: Taken!
Q: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?
A: Yeah, but this time don't stop!
He: Haven't we met before?
She: Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.
He: So wanna go back to my place?
She: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?
He: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
She: It's in the phone book.
He: But I don't know your name.
She: It's in the phone book too!
He: So what do you do for a living?
She: Female impersonator.
Q: What sign were you born under?
A: No Parking.
He: So how do you like your eggs in the morning?
She: Unfertilized!
Q: What are you looking at?
A: Oh. I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.
In reply to No, thank you: Don't thank me, thank God somebody asked you!
He: I'd really like to get into your pants.
She: No thanks. There's already one a-hole in there!
Q: I think you're the best looking girl in here.
A: Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!
He: So, baby, your place or mine?
She: Both. You'll go to your place and I'll go to mine!
He:Your legs go clear up to your ass.
She: Most peoples do!
Q: Can I buy you a drink?
A: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!
He: I know how to please a woman.
She: Then please leave me alone.
He:I want to give myself to you.
She: Sorry, I don`t accept cheap gifts.
"Haven`t I seen you some place before?"
Response: "Yeah, that`s why I don`t go there anymore."
"You look like a dream."
Response: "Go back to sleep."
"I can tell that you want me."
Response: "Yes, I want you to leave."
"Hey, baby, what`s your sign?"
Response: "Do not enter...or stop."
He: What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
She: What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?
Q: Is this seat empty?
A: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
"I can see forever in your eyes."
Response: "But all I can see is never in yours."
"Is it hot in here, or is it just you?"
Response: "No I think your excess weight is taking all the air!"
"If I could rewrite the alphabet,
I would put U and I together."
Response: "That is if you could, but unfortunately you can't!"
"I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included."
Response: "Thanks! Hey I saw your name next to filthy."
enjoy! (:
posted by cheryl @ 6:52 PM
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