girl to char kuay teow seller: uncle i want char kuay tiao.
uncle: okay, you want extra ingredients?
girl: my humps, my humps, my.. (mai hum)

LOL. my classmate told me this. cool right? okay carry on with your life.

A blonde began a job as an elementary school counsellor, and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.

The blonde approached and asked if he was alright. The boy said he was. A little while later, however, the blonde noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself.

Approaching again, the blonde said, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The boy hesitated, then said, "okay," looking at the woman suspiciously.

Feeling she was making progress, the blonde school counsellor then asked, "Why are you standing here alone?"

"Because," the little boy said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie."

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde all worked in the same office. They noticed their boss left work early almost every day.

One day the girls decided that when the boss left they'd leave right behind her. After all she never called in, or came back to the office when she left early, so how was she to know?

The next day all three left the office right after the boss. The brunette was happy to be home early. She did a little gardening and went to bed early.

The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the health club before meeting her dinner date.

The blonde was thrilled to be home, but when she got to the bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly, quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her boss!

Ever so gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house. The next day at coffee break, the brunette and redhead noticed that their boss was getting ready to leave.

They decided they were leaving early again, too, and asked the blonde if she was coming with them. "No way," she exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday!"

A blonde walks into the library, looks around, then gets in line for the counter. Once she gets to the head of the line, she loudly says, "I'd like a Big Mac, large fries, and a large Coke."

The librarian looks at her for a moment. Then whispers to the blonde, "Ma'am, this is the library." The blonde nods. Then she *whispers*, "I'd like a Big Mac, large fries, and a large Coke."

Because Im Blonde
A girl came home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"

"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home again. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, b, c, d, e, f, g!"

"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of huge breasts.

"Very good," said her mother, somewhat embarrassed.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No, Honey," replied her mother, patiently. "It's because you're 25."

Child custody
A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.

The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.

After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied...

"Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?"

There are these three men that have to cross a large river.

So the first guy gose to the river and says please God give me the streagth to cross this river, so he gets huge muscles and swims across.

The next one prays to God and asks for strength and intelligence to cross the river, so he looked around and saw a tree, makes it into a rowboat, and rows across the river.

The third guy says "God give me Strength, Intelligence, and Willpower to cross this river. God turns him into a women, then she looks over - sees a bridge and crosses it.

Two women friends had gone out for a Ladies Night Out, and had been alittle overly-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Horribly drunk, while walking home, they suddenly realized they both needed to pee.

They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away.

Her friend, however, was wearing an expensive set of undergarments and didn't want to ruin them, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they staggered their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn ladies nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties."

"That's nothing," said the other husband. "My wife came home with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the fire station, we'll never forget you!'

An older woman gets a face lift and shes proud of the way she looks so she goes out in the town and askes a man, "how old do you think I am?" The man replies "Ummm, I dont know 28?" the woman answers "Nope I'm 48 but nice try!"

She then purchases brunch at a local McDononalds. She askes the waiter "How old do you think I am" he says "31?" she says "nope 48 but nice try"

Then she walks up to an old man and asks him "How old do you thik I am?" he says "I can tell how old women are by sticking my hand down their pants" She reluctantly allows him do to so... and he does and he says "Ok your 48!"

she gasps "How did you know" he says "Well to tell you the truth I was standing behind you at McDonalds"

A married couple is driving along the highway doing a steady fourty miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband abruptly looks across at her, speaking in a clear voice, and says "Darling, I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."

The wife says nothing, keeping her eyes on the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph.

The husband speaks again, saying this time: "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it, because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than you."

Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55.

He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he demands. Up to 60 mph.

"I want the car, too," he continues. 65 mph!

"And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards, the boat, and our dog!"

The car slowly begins veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him a wee bit nervous, so he asks her: "Isn't there anything you want?"

At last the wife replies - in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've got everything I need." she says. "Oh, really?" he inquires, "So what exactly have you got?

Just before they slam into the wall at 75 mph, the wife turns to him and says...............

"The airbag."

Never underestimate the rationalization of a woman.

this blog is quite dead.
REVIVE!
bah. haha. ignore my nonsensical babbling.

presenting..

a really diao neoprint.


the whole thing.



do we rock or what? :)

My Chingay Experience:


My group C



The girls in my group



The guy on the left rides a unicycle. cool or what.



From left, A german shephard, a dalmantion, a poodle and a chihwahwa.



Partying after the performance. choo choo train.



Lights off and still partying!



Out of the costumes and makeup and its back to normal again.



This one during chingay preview. one day before the pics above. when we reach there, we got nothing to do then keep taking pics. haha.



me and the memoirs of a geisha.

PICK UP LINES to use on GIRLS.


Look at all those curves, and me with no brakes!!!

My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!

Hey , I'm the cable guy, my only policy is that if I hook your cable up, you have to hook mine up!
I think you've got something in your eye. Oh nevermind, it's just a sparkle.

Baby... wanna come for a ride?


The only thing I want between our relationship is latex.
Save water, shower with a friend!

You must be Jamaican, Cause you Jamaican me crazy.

I think I'm in heaven because you look like an angel. Can you take off your shirt so that I can check for wings?

Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!

Excuse me M'am, you dropped a piece of ass, let me get that for you. (then grab her ass)

Your legs are like peanut butter, smooth, creamy, and easy to spread.

Is your father a farmer? Because you sure do have some nice melons.

Quick, somebody call the cops, you just stole my heart.

I love every bone in your body, especially mine!


PICK UP LINES to use on GUYS.


Hi. (trust us, it doesn't take much to pick up the average guy)

I'll give you a nickel if I can tickle your pickle...

Either my eyes need checking or you're the best looking guy I've seen all week.

Is your dad a peanut maker? 'Cause you've got nice nuts!

If you're naughty go to your room. If you wanna be naughty go to my room!

Let's play pool. We can use your stick and balls and my hole!

Did you just grab my ass? No? Well you can if you want too!


You're ugly but you intrigue me.

I may not be Wilma, but I can sure make your bedrock.

Do you have a Band-Aid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you

Can I have a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

Wanna play fireman? We can stop, drop and roll.

You've been a bad boy. Go to my room!

My hands are cold. Can I stick them down your pants to warm them?

I love baseball, so take me home baby!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, so let's go
screw!
Do these look real?

My bed is broken. Can I sleep in yours?

My name is . I'll be your play toy tonight!

Hi, I'm a taudry slut looking for a good time!

SUPER CHEESY LINES.


I'm a used car but you can still drive me!

Let's make out so I can see if you taste as good as you look!

You are the hottest thing since sunburn.

Do you know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie-pop? Wanna find out?

Man, you sure are bright girl! Were you raised by the stars?

Hi, I'm Batman. Wanna see my batmobile?

Hey baby, you are like a pot of gold... Hard to get and hard to hold.

Are those space jeans? Because your ass is outta this world.

It's not the size of the boat. It's the motion of the ocean.

Do you know what would look good on you? Me.

Is that a run in your stockings, or is it the stairway to heaven?

I can read palms. {write your # on their hand} OOh it says your gonna call me soon!

I was just checking your tag to see if you were made in heaven.

Excuse me, but does my tongue taste funny to you?

Hey babe, can I have your number? I think it'll look better in my pocket than in your head.

THE WORST ONES EVER!


I wish you were a bag of Skittles so I could taste your rainbow!

By the way the light is hitting your eyes, I can see myself in them, and damn, I look good!

Smile if you want me!

I'm the doctor of love baby and you're over due for your meat injection!

Hey baby, where you been all my life?

Hey babe! did you hear about the guy and the girl who talked together at the dance? Well...Let me read you the story tonight when I tuck us into bed!

You must be goin to hell cause it must be a sin to look that good.

Do you wanna come back to my house for sex and pizza? No? You don't like pizza?

I'd marry your cat to get in the family.

Are you a Pokemon?? Cuz i'd sure like to pikachu!!

Did you drop something? Cause you sure look like you are picking up!

Who's your daddy?


Hey baby, are you like Sprite because you make me want to obey my thirst.

My love for you is like the Energizer Bunny, it keeps going and going...

If you were a library book, I would check you out.


HOW TO REBUTT THE GUY OR GIRL.


He: Would you like to dance?
She: Not with you.
He: Oh, come on. Lower your standards a little, I just did.

Q: "May I have the directions to your heart?"
A: "Yes,you make a left at 'Hell No' Ave. and leep going straight 'til you get to 'F.U.' Blvd.

He: Your body is like a temple...
She: Sorry, there are no services today.

He: Can I put my beef in your taco?
She: No sorry...I'm a vegitarian.

He: Do you wanna dance?
She: Yeah but not with you!
He: You must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants!

He: I'd die happy if I saw you naked.
She: I'd die laughing if I saw you naked!

He: Hey baby, do you wanna go to my place and hang out (wink wink)
She: No, I'm going to my boyfriend's to hang out! (wink wink)

He: The name's Bond, James Bond.
She: The idea's lost, get lost!

Q: Does beauty run in your family?
A: It obviously doesn't in yours!

Q: What's your name sexy?
A: Taken!

Q: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?
A: Yeah, but this time don't stop!

He: Haven't we met before?
She: Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.

He: So wanna go back to my place?
She: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

He: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
She: It's in the phone book.
He: But I don't know your name.
She: It's in the phone book too!

He: So what do you do for a living?
She: Female impersonator.

Q: What sign were you born under?
A: No Parking.

He: So how do you like your eggs in the morning?
She: Unfertilized!

Q: What are you looking at?
A: Oh. I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

In reply to No, thank you: Don't thank me, thank God somebody asked you!

He: I'd really like to get into your pants.
She: No thanks. There's already one a-hole in there!

Q: I think you're the best looking girl in here.
A: Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

He: So, baby, your place or mine?
She: Both. You'll go to your place and I'll go to mine!

He:Your legs go clear up to your ass.
She: Most peoples do!

Q: Can I buy you a drink?
A: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

He: I know how to please a woman.
She: Then please leave me alone.

He:I want to give myself to you.
She: Sorry, I don`t accept cheap gifts.

"Haven`t I seen you some place before?"
Response: "Yeah, that`s why I don`t go there anymore."

"You look like a dream."
Response: "Go back to sleep."

"I can tell that you want me."
Response: "Yes, I want you to leave."

"Hey, baby, what`s your sign?"
Response: "Do not enter...or stop."

He: What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
She: What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

Q: Is this seat empty?
A: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

"I can see forever in your eyes."
Response: "But all I can see is never in yours."

"Is it hot in here, or is it just you?"
Response: "No I think your excess weight is taking all the air!"

"If I could rewrite the alphabet,
I would put U and I together."
Response: "That is if you could, but unfortunately you can't!"

"I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included."
Response: "Thanks! Hey I saw your name next to filthy."


enjoy! (:

JOKE.

who sits on the potato?

ans: man aka nan zi han.

why? : nan zi han gan zhuo gan dang. ( dare to sit on potato)


HAHAHAHA. :)