THE RESPONSE TO THE BLONDE JOKES POST WAS OVERWHELMING, SO I'VE DECIDED TO PUBLISH MORE!

:))) HOPE YA'ALL LIKE THEM!

Blonde Jokes Number 1
A redhead mom walks into her daughters room and finds a beer can and says to herself, "i didnt know my daughter drank."A brunette mom walks into her daughters room and finds a pack of cigarettes and says to herself, "i didnt know my daughter smoked."Lastly a blonde mom walks into her daughters room and finds a condom and says to herself, "i didnt know my daughter had a penis."
Blonde Jokes Number 2
Q. How can you tell if a blonde is a virgin?A. Her crayons are wet!
Blonde Jokes Number 3
A blonde cop pulls over another blonde and says, "I don't know why I pulled you over, but can I see some ID?" The blonde replies, "What is ID?" The cop says, "It's a small sqaure with your picture on it." The driver pulls out a mirror and says, "Here you go!" The cop says, "Why didn't you tell me you were a cop? Then I never would of pulled you over!"
Blonde Jokes Number 4
Q. What does a blonde have in common with a resturaunt?A. They are made to serve!
Blonde Jokes Number 5
Q. What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinking lights are working???A. YES NO YES NO YES NO YES NO YES NO YES NO...

1) A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!"The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little idiot on your knee!"

2) The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

3) A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results, put on two coats".




THIS IS A REALLY CORNY SCHOOL JOKE I SAW.
BUT IT'LL HELP TO GET OUTTA TROUBLE WITH THE TEACHER.

TRY IT SOMEDAY.

Teacher: Where is your homework?Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren't the best teacher in the school.

A TRIBUTE TO JAMIE BUGLER

the boy who was slaughtered.


this was excerpted from a chainmail.
Do you recall this incident - it had national news coverage:
On February 12, 1993 a small boy who was to turn three in March was taken from a shopping mall in Liverpool by two 10 year old boys. Jamie Bulger walked away from his mother for only a second and Jon Venables took his hand and led him out of the mall with his friend Robert Thompson. They took Jamie on a walk for over 2 and a half miles, along the way stopping every now and again to torture the poor little boy who was crying constantly for his mommy. Finally they stopped at a railway track where they brutally kicked him, threw stones at him, rubbed paint in his eyes and pushed batteries up his anus.
It was actually worse than this. What these two boys did was so horrendous that Jamie's mother was forbidden to identify his body. They then left his beaten small body on the tracks so a train could run him over to hide the mess they had created. These two boys, even being boys understood what they did was wrong, hence trying to make it look like an accident. This week Lady Justice Butler-Sloss has awarded the two boys anonymity for the rest of their lives when they leave custody with new identities. We cannot let this happen. They will also leave early this year only serving just over half of their sentence. One paper even stated that Robert may go on to University. They are getting away with their crime. They need to pay, and we have to do something to make them pay for their horrific crime. They took Jamie's life violently away, and in return they get a new life.
Please add your name and location to the list and forward to friends and family. Please copy this e-mail instead of forwarding so we do not get ">" at the beginning of sentences. If you are the 200th person to sign please forward this e-mail to: cust.ser.cs@gtnet.gov.uk (Attention it to Lady Justice Butler-Sloss) Then start the list over again and send to your friends and family.
The Love-Bug virus took less that 72 hours to reach the world. I hope this one does too. We need to protect our family and friends from creatures like Robert and Jon. One day they may be living next to you and your small children without your knowledge. If Robert and Jon could be so evil at 10, imagine what they could do as adults?
(Signatures Removed)




Sadly, the events described are fundamentally true. Ten-year-olds Jon Venables and Robert Thompson did, indeed, kidnap James Bulger and are responsible for his brutal torture and death (just weeks shy of James' third birthday). The murder sent a wave of shock and disgust throughout the UK. Despite authorities' attempts to keep publicity on the case to a minimum, the media fed an already hyperactive public rumor mill. While the basic story told above is true, it is peppered with rumors and exaggerations not supported by official accounts.
');
//-->

please enable browser's Javascript to use the Tell-A-Friend tool.Powered by On February 12, 1993, Venables and Thompson skipped school and went to the Bootle Strand Shopping Centre in Merseyside, U.K. That morning, they attempted to kidnap a two-year-old boy while his mother shopped, only to fail when the mother missed the child and called him back. Undeterred, Venables and and Thompson tried again that afternoon, this time successfully leading James Bulger away from his mother and the shopping centre. They embarked on a two-and-a-half mile trek during which they dropped, kicked and beat the toddler. No fewer than 38 witnesses saw the boys and noticed James' injuries. While some approached the boys to see what was going on, none interceded on James' behalf, being placated by the older boys' assertions that the younger was their brother and they were seeing to his well-being. This lack of action by more than three dozen people would later spark its own media-fueled outrage.
When the three arrived at isolated railway tracks near Walton, Merseyside, Thompson and Venables threw blue modeling paint in Bulger's face and beat him with bricks, stones and a 22 lb iron bar. He was sexually assaulted, but not anally penetrated (official reports claim that batteries were inserted in the boy's mouth, not anus, as the chain letter claims). Venables and Thompson then laid the boy's body across the tracks and weighed his head down with stones in hopes that a train strike would hide the evidence of their actions. James' body was found two days later, having been run over by a train, though pathologists report that the boy was dead long before.
Public outrage at the murder was instant and severe, fed by tabloid media that pushed - and often broke - the law to report details on the case. After the boys' names and mugshots were made public, their families had to be moved to different parts of the country and have their identities changed to protect them from death threats.
During the trial, the boys offered no defense and were subsequently found guilty and sentenced to a young offenders institution. Their sentence was at "Her Majesty's Pleasure" - a British legal term for an indefinite sentence often used as a substitute to life sentencing for minors. The sentence is reviewed by the Government from time-to-time, and the trial judge set the minimum sentence at eight years. It was later increased to ten years on appeal. Then, Home Secretary Michael Howard increased the sentence to 15 years. However, Howard's move was harshly criticized as being politically motivated and was overturned in 1997. In 2000, citing good behavior during their detention, Thompson's and Venables' sentences were reduced by two years, effectively restoring the original eight-year term.
Two possible motivators of the boys' actions were heatedly discussed, both in the courtroom as well as in public discourse and the media: video violence and domestic violence. Venables and Thompson had access to a collection of violent films, though no testimony that the boys had been watching them was presented at their trial. The media, however, printed a list of such films (including Child's Play 3, in which a possessed doll kills children), which they alleged may have motivated the boys and which were subsequently banned and voluntarily removed by several video rental chains.
Both of the killers came from difficult family backgrounds and grew up in a community hard-hit by a floundering economy and sky-high unemployment. Thompson was one of seven children being raised by an alcoholic single mother. The children were brutal to each other, with a history of violence, assault and attempted suicide. Venables' background was less tragic. The boy lived in shared custody of his mother and father, who lived near each other. His two siblings had significant learning disabilities and his mother was severely depressed and suicidal. Jon was hyperactive and was prone to violence.
In June, 2001, after a six-month review of their case, the parole board determined the boys were no longer a public threat and made them eligible for release since their minimum sentence of eight years had expired (the chain letter above appears to be referencing the artificially inflated 15-year term imposed by Howard when it claims that only half of the boys' sentence was served). The boys were released that summer on a life license, which means that, at any point in their lives, if they are determined to be a danger to public safety, they will be returned to incarceration. They were given new identities and relocated to different parts of the country. It was feared at the time that the boys' new identities and locations would soon be become public.

i know everyone's kinda stressed up by the exams.
here are some really dumb jokes.

Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A. It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.

Q. What did the blonde’s left leg say to her right leg?
A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.


Q. How does a blonde part their hair?
A. By doing the splits.

Q. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg?
A. Nothing, they haven't met!

Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A. Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.

Q. What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?A. Humpme Dumpme
Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?A. More leg-room!
Q. Why don't blondes use vibrators?A. They chip their teeth.
Q. How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?A. Fertilized
Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?A. More headroom
Q. Why is a blonde like a doorknob?A. Because everyone gets a turn.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Q. What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?A. The more you bang it, the looser it gets!
Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?A. Frosted Flakes
Q. What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?A. An airbag.
Q. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day?A. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil.
Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?A. They both swallowed a lot of semen.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?A. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.
Q. How did the blonde burn her nose?A. Bobbing for chips.
Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ass?A. Brain tumor.
Q. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?A. So she can have a doggie bag for later.
Q. How would a blonde punctuate the following: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"A. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry....
Q. Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?A. Because they both drip when they're fucked!
Q. What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?A. "Way to go team!"
Q. What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?A. FULL
Q. What happened to the blonde tap dancer?A. She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Q. Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper?A. So she could lip read.
Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?A. You get to park in the handicap zone.
Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?A. Pregnant
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?A. Not everyone has been in a 747?
Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde?A. Butter is difficult to spread.
Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?A. Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?A. Artificial intelligence.
Q. What do you call a blonde standing on her head?A. A brunette with bad breath.
Q. What do blondes and cow shit have in common?A. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Q. How does a blond turn on the light after sex?A. She opens the car door.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?A. When you smack the mosquito it stops sucking!!
Q. What does a blonde say the last two words of the national anthem are?A. Play ball!
Q. What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common?A. You always hear about them but never see them.
Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?A. Cause it said concentrate.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?A. They know how many went down on the Titanic.
Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?A. The joystick is wet.
Q. Why do blondes wear underwear?A. To keep their ankles warm.
Q. What is a brunette between two blondes?A. An interpreter.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?A. The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.
Q. Did you hear about the blonde that needed gas money?A. She sold her car for it...
Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?A. "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q. Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons?A. Because they have blond boyfriends
Q. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?A. Their both empty from the neck up
Q. What does a blonde and a turtle have in common?A. Get'em on their back and their both fucked.
Q. What do you call a blonde with pig tails?A. A blow job with handlebars
Q. What do you call a blond with a brain?A. A golden retriever.
Q. What do you call a blonde in the closet?A. The 1984 hide and go seek champion.
Q. How can you tell that a blonde sent you a fax?A. It has a stamp on it.
Q. What do you call a room full of blondes with PMS and yeast infections?A. A wine and cheese party!
Q. How do you drown a blonde?A. Put a scratch 'n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
Q. Hear about the blonde that bought an AM radio?A. It took her a month to figure out she could play it at night too.
Q. What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel on the floor?A. Oh no, I'm going to fall again!
Q. How can you tell a blonde has used your computer?A. There is white out on the screen.
Q. Why are blondes like 7-Eleven stores?A. Open 24 hours a day.
Q. Why did the blonde throw bread crumbs down the toilet?A. To feed the toilet duck!
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a pair of sun glasses?A. The sun glasses sit higher on your face.
Q. Why do blondes always drink with straws?A. Practice.

Q. Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?A. To cover the valve stem.
Q. Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?A. It takes too long to retrain them.Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?A. The blonde has the higher sperm count.
Q. How is a blonde like peanut-butter?A. They spread for the bread.
Q. What's the difference between a group of blondes and a good magician?A. The magician has a cunning array of stunts.


CYA. :)

CONTINUATION of HAM's POST. HUR.

HAHAHA.

the BEAN effect?!

erms. this is like a personal attack on bush.

when BUSH met BEAN.

catch HIM if you can.

I DUG OUT SOME REALLY OLD PIX.
ENJOY!

I SECRETLY TOOK THIS PIC :) NICE EH?

WOO. SORRY HAM.

TRANSVERTITES.