HAMDAM.

2006-04-28T08:07:00.000-07:00

girl to char kuay teow seller: uncle i want char kuay tiao.
uncle: okay, you want extra ingredients?
girl: my humps, my humps, my.. (mai hum)

LOL. my classmate told me this. cool right? okay carry on with your life.

2006-03-22T01:02:00.000-08:00

A blonde began a job as an elementary school counsellor, and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.

The blonde approached and asked if he was alright. The boy said he was. A little while later, however, the blonde noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself.

Approaching again, the blonde said, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The boy hesitated, then said, "okay," looking at the woman suspiciously.

Feeling she was making progress, the blonde school counsellor then asked, "Why are you standing here alone?"

"Because," the little boy said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie."

2006-03-22T00:58:00.000-08:00

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde all worked in the same office. They noticed their boss left work early almost every day.

One day the girls decided that when the boss left they'd leave right behind her. After all she never called in, or came back to the office when she left early, so how was she to know?

The next day all three left the office right after the boss. The brunette was happy to be home early. She did a little gardening and went to bed early.

The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the health club before meeting her dinner date.

The blonde was thrilled to be home, but when she got to the bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly, quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her boss!

Ever so gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house. The next day at coffee break, the brunette and redhead noticed that their boss was getting ready to leave.

They decided they were leaving early again, too, and asked the blonde if she was coming with them. "No way," she exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday!"

2006-03-22T00:55:00.000-08:00

A blonde walks into the library, looks around, then gets in line for the counter. Once she gets to the head of the line, she loudly says, "I'd like a Big Mac, large fries, and a large Coke."

The librarian looks at her for a moment. Then whispers to the blonde, "Ma'am, this is the library." The blonde nods. Then she *whispers*, "I'd like a Big Mac, large fries, and a large Coke."

2006-03-22T00:45:00.000-08:00

Because Im Blonde
A girl came home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"

"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home again. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, b, c, d, e, f, g!"

"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of huge breasts.

"Very good," said her mother, somewhat embarrassed.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No, Honey," replied her mother, patiently. "It's because you're 25."

2006-03-22T00:22:00.000-08:00

2006-03-22T00:12:00.000-08:00

Child custody
A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.

The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.

After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied...

"Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?"

2006-03-21T23:58:00.000-08:00

There are these three men that have to cross a large river.

So the first guy gose to the river and says please God give me the streagth to cross this river, so he gets huge muscles and swims across.

The next one prays to God and asks for strength and intelligence to cross the river, so he looked around and saw a tree, makes it into a rowboat, and rows across the river.

The third guy says "God give me Strength, Intelligence, and Willpower to cross this river. God turns him into a women, then she looks over - sees a bridge and crosses it.

2006-03-21T23:53:00.000-08:00

Two women friends had gone out for a Ladies Night Out, and had been alittle overly-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Horribly drunk, while walking home, they suddenly realized they both needed to pee.

They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away.

Her friend, however, was wearing an expensive set of undergarments and didn't want to ruin them, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they staggered their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn ladies nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties."

"That's nothing," said the other husband. "My wife came home with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the fire station, we'll never forget you!'

2006-03-21T23:51:00.000-08:00

An older woman gets a face lift and shes proud of the way she looks so she goes out in the town and askes a man, "how old do you think I am?" The man replies "Ummm, I dont know 28?" the woman answers "Nope I'm 48 but nice try!"

She then purchases brunch at a local McDononalds. She askes the waiter "How old do you think I am" he says "31?" she says "nope 48 but nice try"

Then she walks up to an old man and asks him "How old do you thik I am?" he says "I can tell how old women are by sticking my hand down their pants" She reluctantly allows him do to so... and he does and he says "Ok your 48!"

she gasps "How did you know" he says "Well to tell you the truth I was standing behind you at McDonalds"

2006-03-21T23:23:00.000-08:00

A married couple is driving along the highway doing a steady fourty miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband abruptly looks across at her, speaking in a clear voice, and says "Darling, I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."

The wife says nothing, keeping her eyes on the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph.

The husband speaks again, saying this time: "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it, because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than you."

Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55.

He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he demands. Up to 60 mph.

"I want the car, too," he continues. 65 mph!

"And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards, the boat, and our dog!"

The car slowly begins veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him a wee bit nervous, so he asks her: "Isn't there anything you want?"

At last the wife replies - in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've got everything I need." she says. "Oh, really?" he inquires, "So what exactly have you got?

Just before they slam into the wall at 75 mph, the wife turns to him and says...............

"The airbag."

Never underestimate the rationalization of a woman.

2006-03-17T20:02:00.000-08:00

this blog is quite dead.
REVIVE!
bah. haha. ignore my nonsensical babbling.

2006-02-13T18:45:00.000-08:00

presenting..

a really diao neoprint.

the whole thing.

do we rock or what? :)

2006-02-13T00:44:00.000-08:00

My Chingay Experience:

My group C

The girls in my group

The guy on the left rides a unicycle. cool or what.

From left, A german shephard, a dalmantion, a poodle and a chihwahwa.

Partying after the performance. choo choo train.

Lights off and still partying!

Out of the costumes and makeup and its back to normal again.

This one during chingay preview. one day before the pics above. when we reach there, we got nothing to do then keep taking pics. haha.

me and the memoirs of a geisha.

2006-01-16T18:52:00.000-08:00

PICK UP LINES to use on GIRLS.

Look at all those curves, and me with no brakes!!!

My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!

Hey , I'm the cable guy, my only policy is that if I hook your cable up, you have to hook mine up!
I think you've got something in your eye. Oh nevermind, it's just a sparkle.

Baby... wanna come for a ride?

The only thing I want between our relationship is latex.
Save water, shower with a friend!

You must be Jamaican, Cause you Jamaican me crazy.

I think I'm in heaven because you look like an angel. Can you take off your shirt so that I can check for wings?

Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!

Excuse me M'am, you dropped a piece of ass, let me get that for you. (then grab her ass)

Your legs are like peanut butter, smooth, creamy, and easy to spread.

Is your father a farmer? Because you sure do have some nice melons.

Quick, somebody call the cops, you just stole my heart.

I love every bone in your body, especially mine!

PICK UP LINES to use on GUYS.

Hi. (trust us, it doesn't take much to pick up the average guy)

I'll give you a nickel if I can tickle your pickle...

Either my eyes need checking or you're the best looking guy I've seen all week.

Is your dad a peanut maker? 'Cause you've got nice nuts!

If you're naughty go to your room. If you wanna be naughty go to my room!

Let's play pool. We can use your stick and balls and my hole!

Did you just grab my ass? No? Well you can if you want too!

You're ugly but you intrigue me.

I may not be Wilma, but I can sure make your bedrock.

Do you have a Band-Aid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you

Can I have a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

Wanna play fireman? We can stop, drop and roll.

You've been a bad boy. Go to my room!

My hands are cold. Can I stick them down your pants to warm them?

I love baseball, so take me home baby!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, so let's go
screw!
Do these look real?

My bed is broken. Can I sleep in yours?

My name is . I'll be your play toy tonight!

Hi, I'm a taudry slut looking for a good time!

SUPER CHEESY LINES.

I'm a used car but you can still drive me!

Let's make out so I can see if you taste as good as you look!

You are the hottest thing since sunburn.

Do you know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie-pop? Wanna find out?

Man, you sure are bright girl! Were you raised by the stars?

Hi, I'm Batman. Wanna see my batmobile?

Hey baby, you are like a pot of gold... Hard to get and hard to hold.

Are those space jeans? Because your ass is outta this world.

It's not the size of the boat. It's the motion of the ocean.

Do you know what would look good on you? Me.

Is that a run in your stockings, or is it the stairway to heaven?

I can read palms. {write your # on their hand} OOh it says your gonna call me soon!

I was just checking your tag to see if you were made in heaven.

Excuse me, but does my tongue taste funny to you?

Hey babe, can I have your number? I think it'll look better in my pocket than in your head.

THE WORST ONES EVER!

I wish you were a bag of Skittles so I could taste your rainbow!

By the way the light is hitting your eyes, I can see myself in them, and damn, I look good!

Smile if you want me!

I'm the doctor of love baby and you're over due for your meat injection!

Hey baby, where you been all my life?

Hey babe! did you hear about the guy and the girl who talked together at the dance? Well...Let me read you the story tonight when I tuck us into bed!

You must be goin to hell cause it must be a sin to look that good.

Do you wanna come back to my house for sex and pizza? No? You don't like pizza?

I'd marry your cat to get in the family.

Are you a Pokemon?? Cuz i'd sure like to pikachu!!

Did you drop something? Cause you sure look like you are picking up!

Who's your daddy?

Hey baby, are you like Sprite because you make me want to obey my thirst.

My love for you is like the Energizer Bunny, it keeps going and going...

If you were a library book, I would check you out.

HOW TO REBUTT THE GUY OR GIRL.

He: Would you like to dance?
She: Not with you.
He: Oh, come on. Lower your standards a little, I just did.

Q: "May I have the directions to your heart?"
A: "Yes,you make a left at 'Hell No' Ave. and leep going straight 'til you get to 'F.U.' Blvd.

He: Your body is like a temple...
She: Sorry, there are no services today.

He: Can I put my beef in your taco?
She: No sorry...I'm a vegitarian.

He: Do you wanna dance?
She: Yeah but not with you!
He: You must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants!

He: I'd die happy if I saw you naked.
She: I'd die laughing if I saw you naked!

He: Hey baby, do you wanna go to my place and hang out (wink wink)
She: No, I'm going to my boyfriend's to hang out! (wink wink)

He: The name's Bond, James Bond.
She: The idea's lost, get lost!

Q: Does beauty run in your family?
A: It obviously doesn't in yours!

Q: What's your name sexy?
A: Taken!

Q: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?
A: Yeah, but this time don't stop!

He: Haven't we met before?
She: Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.

He: So wanna go back to my place?
She: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

He: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
She: It's in the phone book.
He: But I don't know your name.
She: It's in the phone book too!

He: So what do you do for a living?
She: Female impersonator.

Q: What sign were you born under?
A: No Parking.

He: So how do you like your eggs in the morning?
She: Unfertilized!

Q: What are you looking at?
A: Oh. I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

In reply to No, thank you: Don't thank me, thank God somebody asked you!

He: I'd really like to get into your pants.
She: No thanks. There's already one a-hole in there!

Q: I think you're the best looking girl in here.
A: Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

He: So, baby, your place or mine?
She: Both. You'll go to your place and I'll go to mine!

He:Your legs go clear up to your ass.
She: Most peoples do!

Q: Can I buy you a drink?
A: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

He: I know how to please a woman.
She: Then please leave me alone.

He:I want to give myself to you.
She: Sorry, I don`t accept cheap gifts.

"Haven`t I seen you some place before?"
Response: "Yeah, that`s why I don`t go there anymore."

"You look like a dream."
Response: "Go back to sleep."

"I can tell that you want me."
Response: "Yes, I want you to leave."

"Hey, baby, what`s your sign?"
Response: "Do not enter...or stop."

He: What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
She: What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

Q: Is this seat empty?
A: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

"I can see forever in your eyes."
Response: "But all I can see is never in yours."

"Is it hot in here, or is it just you?"
Response: "No I think your excess weight is taking all the air!"

"If I could rewrite the alphabet,
I would put U and I together."
Response: "That is if you could, but unfortunately you can't!"

"I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included."
Response: "Thanks! Hey I saw your name next to filthy."

enjoy! (:

2006-01-07T21:22:00.000-08:00

JOKE.

who sits on the potato?

ans: man aka nan zi han.

why? : nan zi han gan zhuo gan dang. ( dare to sit on potato)

HAHAHAHA. :)

2005-12-25T21:14:00.000-08:00

since it's the festive season,
i shall tella joke i saw on yu le bai fen bai!

okay. here it goes.
luie dou(green bean) fall down become what?
ans. hong dou(red bean). cos it bleeds.

hong dou(red bean) fall down become what?
ans. puah dou.(fall down)

LOL! :)
hahaha. funny right?

okay. thank you for your time.

2005-12-21T21:10:00.000-08:00

Top 10 pick-up lines:
10. Were you in Girl/Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart into a knot.

9. Pick up a pack of sugar that actually says, "Sugar" on it and say, "You've dropped your nametag!".

8. Life without you would be like a broken pencil...pointless.

7. Is there an airport nearby or is that my heart taking off?

6. If you were a booger I'd pick you first.

5. I think I feel like Richard Gere - I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.

4. Hershey's makes millions of kisses a day... all I'm asking for is just one.

3. Baby, you must have just farted. Cause you blow me away.

2. Your daddy must have been a baker, cause you have a nice set of buns.

1. If you and I were squirrels, I would love to bust a nut in your hole.

Top 10 suggestions for women to respond to pickup lines:
10. Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Girl: Did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

9. Guy: Where have you been all my life?
Girl: Hiding from you.

8. Guy: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Girl: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

7. Guy: So what do you do for a living?
Girl: Female impersonator.

6. Guy: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Girl: It's in the phone book.
Guy: But I don't know your name.
Girl: That's in the phone book too.

5. Guy: I know how to please a woman.
Girl: Then please leave me alone.

4. Guy: I want to give myself to you.
Girl: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

3. Guy: I can see forever in your eyes.
Girl: But all I can see is never in yours.

2. Guy: Haven't we met before?
Girl: Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.

1. Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather.
Girl: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

2005-12-20T19:07:00.000-08:00

i've got a new blog,
hope you guys can link me! :)
http://missdan.blogspot.com

2005-12-09T05:00:00.000-08:00

ham's away in a foreign country right now.
but she'll be back.
i think.
she'll come back right? right?

someone please ask her to return back to singapura!
a certain mr lee, i hope.

2005-11-22T05:38:00.000-08:00

THE RESPONSE TO THE BLONDE JOKES POST WAS OVERWHELMING, SO I'VE DECIDED TO PUBLISH MORE!

:))) HOPE YA'ALL LIKE THEM!

Blonde Jokes Number 1
A redhead mom walks into her daughters room and finds a beer can and says to herself, "i didnt know my daughter drank."A brunette mom walks into her daughters room and finds a pack of cigarettes and says to herself, "i didnt know my daughter smoked."Lastly a blonde mom walks into her daughters room and finds a condom and says to herself, "i didnt know my daughter had a penis."
Blonde Jokes Number 2
Q. How can you tell if a blonde is a virgin?A. Her crayons are wet!
Blonde Jokes Number 3
A blonde cop pulls over another blonde and says, "I don't know why I pulled you over, but can I see some ID?" The blonde replies, "What is ID?" The cop says, "It's a small sqaure with your picture on it." The driver pulls out a mirror and says, "Here you go!" The cop says, "Why didn't you tell me you were a cop? Then I never would of pulled you over!"
Blonde Jokes Number 4
Q. What does a blonde have in common with a resturaunt?A. They are made to serve!
Blonde Jokes Number 5
Q. What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinking lights are working???A. YES NO YES NO YES NO YES NO YES NO YES NO...

1) A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!"The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little idiot on your knee!"

2) The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

3) A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results, put on two coats".

THIS IS A REALLY CORNY SCHOOL JOKE I SAW.
BUT IT'LL HELP TO GET OUTTA TROUBLE WITH THE TEACHER.

TRY IT SOMEDAY.

Teacher: Where is your homework?Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren't the best teacher in the school.

2005-11-20T05:05:00.000-08:00

NEW ELEMENT:
Element Name: WOMAN

Symbol: WO

Atomic Weight: (don't even go there!)

Physical properties:
1.Generally round in form.
2.Boils at nothing and may freeze any time.
3.Melts whenever treated properly.
4.Very bitter if not used well.

Chemical properties:
1.Very active.
2.Often unstable.
3.Possesses strong affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. 4.Violent when left alone.
5.Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food.
6.Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.

Usage:
1.Highly ornamental.
2.An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth.
3.Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands

The perfect shirt for emma. Puma.

2005-11-16T01:47:00.000-08:00

A TRIBUTE TO JAMIE BUGLER

the boy who was slaughtered.

this was excerpted from a chainmail.
Do you recall this incident - it had national news coverage:
On February 12, 1993 a small boy who was to turn three in March was taken from a shopping mall in Liverpool by two 10 year old boys. Jamie Bulger walked away from his mother for only a second and Jon Venables took his hand and led him out of the mall with his friend Robert Thompson. They took Jamie on a walk for over 2 and a half miles, along the way stopping every now and again to torture the poor little boy who was crying constantly for his mommy. Finally they stopped at a railway track where they brutally kicked him, threw stones at him, rubbed paint in his eyes and pushed batteries up his anus.
It was actually worse than this. What these two boys did was so horrendous that Jamie's mother was forbidden to identify his body. They then left his beaten small body on the tracks so a train could run him over to hide the mess they had created. These two boys, even being boys understood what they did was wrong, hence trying to make it look like an accident. This week Lady Justice Butler-Sloss has awarded the two boys anonymity for the rest of their lives when they leave custody with new identities. We cannot let this happen. They will also leave early this year only serving just over half of their sentence. One paper even stated that Robert may go on to University. They are getting away with their crime. They need to pay, and we have to do something to make them pay for their horrific crime. They took Jamie's life violently away, and in return they get a new life.
Please add your name and location to the list and forward to friends and family. Please copy this e-mail instead of forwarding so we do not get ">" at the beginning of sentences. If you are the 200th person to sign please forward this e-mail to: cust.ser.cs@gtnet.gov.uk (Attention it to Lady Justice Butler-Sloss) Then start the list over again and send to your friends and family.
The Love-Bug virus took less that 72 hours to reach the world. I hope this one does too. We need to protect our family and friends from creatures like Robert and Jon. One day they may be living next to you and your small children without your knowledge. If Robert and Jon could be so evil at 10, imagine what they could do as adults?
(Signatures Removed)

Sadly, the events described are fundamentally true. Ten-year-olds Jon Venables and Robert Thompson did, indeed, kidnap James Bulger and are responsible for his brutal torture and death (just weeks shy of James' third birthday). The murder sent a wave of shock and disgust throughout the UK. Despite authorities' attempts to keep publicity on the case to a minimum, the media fed an already hyperactive public rumor mill. While the basic story told above is true, it is peppered with rumors and exaggerations not supported by official accounts.
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please enable browser's Javascript to use the Tell-A-Friend tool.Powered by On February 12, 1993, Venables and Thompson skipped school and went to the Bootle Strand Shopping Centre in Merseyside, U.K. That morning, they attempted to kidnap a two-year-old boy while his mother shopped, only to fail when the mother missed the child and called him back. Undeterred, Venables and and Thompson tried again that afternoon, this time successfully leading James Bulger away from his mother and the shopping centre. They embarked on a two-and-a-half mile trek during which they dropped, kicked and beat the toddler. No fewer than 38 witnesses saw the boys and noticed James' injuries. While some approached the boys to see what was going on, none interceded on James' behalf, being placated by the older boys' assertions that the younger was their brother and they were seeing to his well-being. This lack of action by more than three dozen people would later spark its own media-fueled outrage.
When the three arrived at isolated railway tracks near Walton, Merseyside, Thompson and Venables threw blue modeling paint in Bulger's face and beat him with bricks, stones and a 22 lb iron bar. He was sexually assaulted, but not anally penetrated (official reports claim that batteries were inserted in the boy's mouth, not anus, as the chain letter claims). Venables and Thompson then laid the boy's body across the tracks and weighed his head down with stones in hopes that a train strike would hide the evidence of their actions. James' body was found two days later, having been run over by a train, though pathologists report that the boy was dead long before.
Public outrage at the murder was instant and severe, fed by tabloid media that pushed - and often broke - the law to report details on the case. After the boys' names and mugshots were made public, their families had to be moved to different parts of the country and have their identities changed to protect them from death threats.
During the trial, the boys offered no defense and were subsequently found guilty and sentenced to a young offenders institution. Their sentence was at "Her Majesty's Pleasure" - a British legal term for an indefinite sentence often used as a substitute to life sentencing for minors. The sentence is reviewed by the Government from time-to-time, and the trial judge set the minimum sentence at eight years. It was later increased to ten years on appeal. Then, Home Secretary Michael Howard increased the sentence to 15 years. However, Howard's move was harshly criticized as being politically motivated and was overturned in 1997. In 2000, citing good behavior during their detention, Thompson's and Venables' sentences were reduced by two years, effectively restoring the original eight-year term.
Two possible motivators of the boys' actions were heatedly discussed, both in the courtroom as well as in public discourse and the media: video violence and domestic violence. Venables and Thompson had access to a collection of violent films, though no testimony that the boys had been watching them was presented at their trial. The media, however, printed a list of such films (including Child's Play 3, in which a possessed doll kills children), which they alleged may have motivated the boys and which were subsequently banned and voluntarily removed by several video rental chains.
Both of the killers came from difficult family backgrounds and grew up in a community hard-hit by a floundering economy and sky-high unemployment. Thompson was one of seven children being raised by an alcoholic single mother. The children were brutal to each other, with a history of violence, assault and attempted suicide. Venables' background was less tragic. The boy lived in shared custody of his mother and father, who lived near each other. His two siblings had significant learning disabilities and his mother was severely depressed and suicidal. Jon was hyperactive and was prone to violence.
In June, 2001, after a six-month review of their case, the parole board determined the boys were no longer a public threat and made them eligible for release since their minimum sentence of eight years had expired (the chain letter above appears to be referencing the artificially inflated 15-year term imposed by Howard when it claims that only half of the boys' sentence was served). The boys were released that summer on a life license, which means that, at any point in their lives, if they are determined to be a danger to public safety, they will be returned to incarceration. They were given new identities and relocated to different parts of the country. It was feared at the time that the boys' new identities and locations would soon be become public.

2005-11-13T19:09:00.000-08:00

i know everyone's kinda stressed up by the exams.
here are some really dumb jokes.

Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A. It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.

Q. What did the blonde’s left leg say to her right leg?
A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

Q. How does a blonde part their hair?
A. By doing the splits.

Q. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg?
A. Nothing, they haven't met!

Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A. Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.

Q. What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?A. Humpme Dumpme
Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?A. More leg-room!
Q. Why don't blondes use vibrators?A. They chip their teeth.
Q. How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?A. Fertilized
Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?A. More headroom
Q. Why is a blonde like a doorknob?A. Because everyone gets a turn.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Q. What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?A. The more you bang it, the looser it gets!
Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?A. Frosted Flakes
Q. What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?A. An airbag.
Q. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day?A. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil.
Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?A. They both swallowed a lot of semen.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?A. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.
Q. How did the blonde burn her nose?A. Bobbing for chips.
Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ass?A. Brain tumor.
Q. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?A. So she can have a doggie bag for later.
Q. How would a blonde punctuate the following: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"A. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry....
Q. Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?A. Because they both drip when they're fucked!
Q. What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?A. "Way to go team!"
Q. What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?A. FULL
Q. What happened to the blonde tap dancer?A. She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Q. Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper?A. So she could lip read.
Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?A. You get to park in the handicap zone.
Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?A. Pregnant
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?A. Not everyone has been in a 747?
Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde?A. Butter is difficult to spread.
Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?A. Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?A. Artificial intelligence.
Q. What do you call a blonde standing on her head?A. A brunette with bad breath.
Q. What do blondes and cow shit have in common?A. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Q. How does a blond turn on the light after sex?A. She opens the car door.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?A. When you smack the mosquito it stops sucking!!
Q. What does a blonde say the last two words of the national anthem are?A. Play ball!
Q. What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common?A. You always hear about them but never see them.
Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?A. Cause it said concentrate.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?A. They know how many went down on the Titanic.
Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?A. The joystick is wet.
Q. Why do blondes wear underwear?A. To keep their ankles warm.
Q. What is a brunette between two blondes?A. An interpreter.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?A. The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.
Q. Did you hear about the blonde that needed gas money?A. She sold her car for it...
Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?A. "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q. Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons?A. Because they have blond boyfriends
Q. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?A. Their both empty from the neck up
Q. What does a blonde and a turtle have in common?A. Get'em on their back and their both fucked.
Q. What do you call a blonde with pig tails?A. A blow job with handlebars
Q. What do you call a blond with a brain?A. A golden retriever.
Q. What do you call a blonde in the closet?A. The 1984 hide and go seek champion.
Q. How can you tell that a blonde sent you a fax?A. It has a stamp on it.
Q. What do you call a room full of blondes with PMS and yeast infections?A. A wine and cheese party!
Q. How do you drown a blonde?A. Put a scratch 'n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
Q. Hear about the blonde that bought an AM radio?A. It took her a month to figure out she could play it at night too.
Q. What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel on the floor?A. Oh no, I'm going to fall again!
Q. How can you tell a blonde has used your computer?A. There is white out on the screen.
Q. Why are blondes like 7-Eleven stores?A. Open 24 hours a day.
Q. Why did the blonde throw bread crumbs down the toilet?A. To feed the toilet duck!
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a pair of sun glasses?A. The sun glasses sit higher on your face.
Q. Why do blondes always drink with straws?A. Practice.

Q. Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?A. To cover the valve stem.
Q. Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?A. It takes too long to retrain them.Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?A. The blonde has the higher sperm count.
Q. How is a blonde like peanut-butter?A. They spread for the bread.
Q. What's the difference between a group of blondes and a good magician?A. The magician has a cunning array of stunts.

CYA. :)

2005-11-11T18:56:00.000-08:00

One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa."The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.

The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma."The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.

Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy."Now the father was so scared he practically soiled himself. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine.

When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found the milkman dead on our porch this morning!"

The new season of The Bachelor

Early Christmas Festive

2005-11-09T17:49:00.000-08:00

CONTINUATION of HAM's POST. HUR.

2005-11-09T17:48:00.001-08:00

HAHAHA.

2005-11-09T17:48:00.000-08:00

the BEAN effect?!

2005-11-09T17:47:00.000-08:00

erms. this is like a personal attack on bush.

2005-11-09T17:46:00.001-08:00

when BUSH met BEAN.

2005-11-09T17:46:00.000-08:00

catch HIM if you can.

2005-11-09T06:05:00.000-08:00

HALLOWEEN SPECIAL:

Fret not people! Although Halloween is over, you can consider them for next year. I have narrowed down some special costumes and have classified them into different budgets for your convenient reference.

Going for $53:

$39:

37 Reasons Why You Shouldnt Post Your Pic on the net:

2005-11-06T02:45:00.000-08:00

People often asked why we always post such gross stuff. All i want to say is that we do have the hearts of little girls - They are in a jar on our tables.

2005-11-03T22:58:00.000-08:00

Dam's Prom Dress

2005-11-03T22:19:00.000-08:00

I DUG OUT SOME REALLY OLD PIX.
ENJOY!

I SECRETLY TOOK THIS PIC :) NICE EH?

WOO. SORRY HAM.

TRANSVERTITES.

2005-10-31T07:03:00.000-08:00

What's up with that man.

The story of a full mug and an empty mug.

What are you looking at?

Thank you.

Enough said.

Why blondes shouldn't change tyres.

What are the cigarette boxes think they are doing?

Poor boy.

Duckie airlines, anyone?

The best watch ever.

What the. And they even said apes were our ancestors.

Scary movie 4

Tsk. Kids nowadays...

An idiot's guide to parking.

An idiot's guide to golf.

The Bonn mask: Number 2

Nice toilet paper.

2005-10-28T04:15:00.000-07:00

CAUTION: THE PICTURES MAY CAUSE EXTREME DISCOMFORT, EVEN TO THE EXTENT OF NAUSEA. IF YOU TOO AFRAID, PLEASE DO NOT PROCEED. HAMDAM DOES NOT ACCOUNT FOR ANY DEATHS OR LOSS DUE TO THE DISTURBING CONTENT OF THE FOLLOWING MATERIAL. THANK YOU.

beware of the little girl.

THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS.

OH MY GOD.

AROUND THE BUTT IN 80 DAYS.

EVEN PUMPKINS GET SCARED.

LONG LOST SIBLINGS.

WOW.

MAMA AND I.

IT'S NOT THE MIDDLE FINGER. IT'S THE MIDDLE PAW.

STAY TUNED FOR MORE HIGHLY REQUESTED AND NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN PIX.

SO LONG FOLKS`

2005-10-27T02:35:00.000-07:00

MICHAEL JACKSON'S DOG.

2005-10-26T19:08:00.000-07:00

1. Deathbed Confession
Becky was on her deathbed, with her husband Jake at her side. He held her cold hand and tears silently streamed down his face. Her pale lips moved. "Jake" she said. "Hush, " he quickly interrupted, "don 't talk. " But she insisted, " Jake, " she said in her tired voice, " I have to talk. I must confess." " There is nothing to confess" said the weeping jake, "It' s all right. Everything' s all right." "No, no. I must die in peace. I must confess, Jake, that I have been unfaithful to you. " Jake stroked her hand." Now, Becky, don' t be concerned, I know all about it'" , he sobbed. "Why else would I poison you? "

2005-10-26T19:07:00.000-07:00

2. I don't know her well enough
A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?""I would love to," replied the husband, "but I don't know her well enough."

2005-10-26T19:05:00.000-07:00

3. The Clever Widow
A widow, recently married to a widower, was accosted by a friend who laughingly remarked, "I suppose, like all men who have been married before, your husband sometimes talks about his first wife?" "Oh, not any more," the other woman replied. "What stopped him?" asked the first. "I started talking about my next husband," replied the second woman.

2005-10-26T19:00:00.000-07:00

4. Don't lie to me
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around eight PM. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.' Where have you been?!' Demanded his wife when he entered the house. The man was suddenly struck with remorse at the way he had betrayed this woman he loved.' Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary; and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock.' The wife looked devastated, and glanced down at his shoes.' You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!'

2005-10-26T18:41:00.000-07:00

5.The Airplane
On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming,she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! No one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??" For a moment there is silence. everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He's gorgeous! Tall, built, with flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "Iron this."

2005-10-26T18:40:00.000-07:00

6.What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

2005-10-26T18:30:00.000-07:00

7.Why Did The Blonde Tip Toe Past The Medicine Cabinet?
So she wouldn't wake up the Sleeping Pills.

2005-10-26T18:29:00.000-07:00

8.What's the matter?
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss concerned about all his employees well being asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?" To which the blonde replies... "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." The boss feeling very sorry at this point explains to the young girl. "Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy just take the day off to relax and rest."The blonde very calmly states..."No.. I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blond to work as usual... "If you need anything just let me know." Well... a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde...he looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!!!!! He rushes out to her asking, "What's so bad now... are you gonna be okay??" "No..." exclaims the blonde, "I just received a horrible call from my sister and she said that her mom died too!"

2005-10-26T18:27:00.000-07:00

9.I Would Like To Buy This TV
A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. "Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV." Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed "How do you know I'm a blonde?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied.

2005-10-26T18:20:00.000-07:00

WARNING! Do not scroll if you are under 16. The information below is rated NC-16. Parental guidance advised.

10.The Little Girl And A Bird
Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the nude. He saw a little girl coming towards him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading. The girl came up to him and asked "What do you have under the newspaper, mister?" "A bird," the guy replied. The little girl walked away and the guy fell asleep. When he woke up, he was in a hospital in tremendous pain. When the Police asked him what happened, the guy replied, "I don't know. I was lying on the beach, this girl asked me about my privates, and the next thing I know is I'm here." Police went back to the beach, found the girl, and asked her "What did you do to that naked fellow?" After a little pause, the girl replied, "To him? Nothing. I was playing with the bird and it spit on me, so I broke its neck, cracked its eggs, and set its nest on fire."

2005-10-26T04:00:00.000-07:00

This is dam's gruesome looking correction tape. Is that a human head i see?

2005-10-26T02:52:00.001-07:00

2005-10-26T02:52:00.000-07:00

WOW. bucktooth.

2005-10-26T02:26:00.000-07:00

What is this?

Friends are your closest enemies.

Anyone hungry?

Is this gross or is this gross? Just look at that poor fella's head.

2005-10-26T00:15:00.000-07:00

kids nowadays..

2005-10-25T23:19:00.000-07:00

this is freaky.

2005-10-25T23:08:00.000-07:00

ERMS.

2005-10-24T22:04:00.000-07:00

Hey! as a open-house birthday present specially dedicated to my blogg, here's a little something from me.

2005-10-24T21:55:00.000-07:00

HELLO :))

is this COOL or what?
we FINALLY have our very own JOINT blog! :))

it's like a MERGER.

but there aint gonna be any SEPERATION.
YEEHAH!

i still cant believe that 4e7 has becoem a thing of the PAST.
it's no longer there.

but i STILL love ya'all.
here is a complete photoalbum DUDES.

HUGGS`

2005-10-24T21:54:00.000-07:00

HEY PPL! woots. wee-u-weet. this is the first official blog which is going to rock the house down. dont say we didnt warn you. it's so addictive, you gotta beware.

be afraid.

be very afraid.